You’ve had the desire for a long time…
The pull toward something darker. Deeper. More alive.
Maybe you’ve wanted your partner to be more dominant… more submissive…
But every attempt feels awkward, inconsistent, forced… or quickly dissolves back into old patterns.
Or perhaps you’ve both felt the longing for a more erotically charged relationship…
More polarity. More passion. More tension.…
...but when you try to create it, it creates confusion instead of chemistry.
Conflict instead of connection.
You may have even tried building a Dom/sub dynamic before — only to end up frustrated, disconnected, or right back where you started.
You're in the right place.
Especially if any of this feels uncomfortably accurate.
You want to take the lead and be more dominant in the bedroom and your relationship—but something keeps holding you back. You second-guess yourself, worry about hurting your partner, or feel conflicted because you were taught that treating someone this way is wrong—even when they’re asking for it.
You want to let go and surrender to your partner—but your body and mind won’t fully cooperate. You struggle to switch off, give up control, or sink into the experience. Part of you wants it, but another part still doesn’t feel safe enough to completely trust and let go.
You’re afraid to tell your partner what you really want. You worry they’ll judge you, shame you, or see you differently once they know what turns you on. And underneath that may be an even harder question: What will I think of myself if I admit that I want this?
You know you want something different, but you’re not sure how to actually create it. Maybe you want to build a Dom/sub dynamic, bring BDSM into your relationship, or explore an alternative relationship structure. But there’s so much conflicting information that you’re overwhelmed, unsure where to begin, and worried about screwing up something—or someone—you care about.
…or maybe it’s something you haven’t quite put words to yet.
If you've been nodding your head yes, online coaching with me may be a good fit.
The problem is not your desire.
The problem is that most couples are trying to step into Dominance and submission without ever learning the foundations:
A container of trust and nervous system safety.
Erotic communication.
Clear hierarchy and conscious power exchange.
Embodied surrender and grounded leadership.
Most people were never taught this.
It’s too taboo.
So couples default to the standard relationship model… or quietly settle into mediocrity.
The relationship still functions.
But the polarity weakens.
The passion cools.
The unspoken desires stay locked away beneath shame, fear, resentment, or endless compromise.
Men are taught to perform… to please… but not how to lead in a way that evokes trust, respect, and willing surrender.
Women are often taught to grip control tightly… to distrust receptivity… to resist anything that resembles submission — even when part of them deeply longs for it.
The result?
A kind of polarity collapse.
Two people disconnected from their deeper desires.
Neither carrying the weight their relationship is quietly asking them to hold.
Not because they lack love.
Because they lack a framework.
Enter Dominance and submission.
Dominance and submission holds far more wisdom about desire, power, intimacy, communication, and human relating than most people realize.
It is not just whips, chains, or kinkier ways to get off.
At its best, D/s becomes a conscious structure for creating polarity, intimacy, and passion.
A leader–follower dynamic designed to help two people build a relationship that is not only deeply loving…
...but deeply erotic.
This coaching exists to give couples what most people never receive:
Men who can lead and dominate in ways that genuinely benefit, protect, and fulfill their women — inside and outside the bedroom.
Women who can surrender into embodied receptivity, trusting submission, and wholehearted support of a man whose leadership they deeply respect...
…so that together you create a feedback loop of desire and devotion that strengthens both your romantic and erotic life.
For the Dominant
You’ll become more:
Grounded
Intentional
Decisive
Protective
Assertive
Respected
…and confident in your ability to lead, guide, and ravish your submissive.
For the submissive
You’ll become more:
Receptive
Expressive
Open
Embodied
Devotional
Trusting
…and feel safe enough to surrender more deeply to your Dominant.
For Men Stepping Into Erotic Leadership
What if you didn’t feel like you were performing a role—but instead felt confident in your ability to authentically lead?
You know what you want, how to communicate it, and how to take the lead with presence and intention.
Sex feels magnetic, powerful, and deeply connected.
She trusts your direction because you’ve given her a reason to. She respects your leadership because it comes from care and integrity.
There’s less second-guessing and awkwardness. You’re no longer trying to figure out what a “Dom” is supposed to do.
Instead of trying to act dominant, you know how to show up as a man who can create both safety and desire.
For Women Learning to Surrender
What if you could relax into your body, quiet your mind, and actually enjoy letting your partner take control?
You’re able to let go—not because you have to, but because you trust yourself, your partner, and what you’re creating together.
You feel seen and understood. Your desires and boundaries matter, which gives you the confidence to stop managing everything and allow yourself to be guided.
Instead of analyzing every moment, you can be present inside it.
There’s less tension, uncertainty, and overthinking—leaving more room for pleasureand connection.
You don’t lose yourself by surrendering. You feel secure enough in yourself to choose it.
When Leadership and Surrender Come Together
This isn’t about playing a role or chasing a fantasy.
It’s about creating a relationship where one person can confidently lead because the other can confidently follow—and where both people feel respected, desired, and fulfilled in the roles they’ve chosen.
The bedroom becomes a place where you can explore the intensity you’ve imagined. Outside of it, you have the communication, trust, and structure to make that dynamic work in real life.
With the right guidance, you stop trying to make dominance and submission happen.
It becomes something the two of you know how to create together.
Here's How Coaching Can Help
I help individuals and couples turn the relationships and dynamics they imagine into something they can actually live.
Men who want to confidently lead: Develop the confidence, presence, and skills to take the lead—in the bedroom and throughout the relationship.
Women who want to let go and surrender: Slow down, get out of your head, reconnect with your body, and feel safe enough to receive, trust, and enjoy being led.
Couples who want to explore Dom/sub dynamics: Go from curiosity and fantasy to actually creating a Dom/sub dynamic together—with clarity around roles, desires, boundaries, and expectations.
Couples who want to take D/s beyond the bedroom: Evolve from occasional bedroom play into a more structured 24/7 dynamic with intentional rules, rituals, protocols, and responsibilities.
Ethically non-monogamous couples: Create clear relationship agreements around boundaries, expectations, communication, intimacy, and other partners—so non-monogamy strengthens your relationship rather than destabilizing it.
15 minutes. No pressure. Let’s see if we’re a good fit.
What We Can Focus On
Know Your Core 4: You’ll speak your needs, desires, boundaries, and limits — while learning to listen to your partner’s with equal care and responsibility.
Developing Confidence in Your Role: Step into Dominance or submission with clarity and certainty — so it feels embodied, not performative.
Gain a Strong Self-Esteem: You’ll work with vulnerability, releasing shame, emotional honesty, and building trust and esteem — so your dynamic creates deeper closeness, not just stronger intensity.
Strengthening Communication & Trust: Have direct, effective conversations that create alignment, safety, and forward movement—without tension or avoidance.
Clarifying Your Dynamic: Define roles, desires, and boundaries with precision—so there’s no confusion about how you show up with each other.
Restoring Polarity & Sexual Connection: Reintroduce tension, attraction, and responsiveness into your relationship—so desire feels natural and ongoing.
Building Structure That Holds: Whether only in the bedroom or 24/7, create a dynamic that works in real life—not just in moments of intensity—so it becomes consistent, grounded, and sustainable.
Overcome Roadblocks: Easily solve problems within implmentation and create long-term sustainability—so the fires of passion stay lit for a lifetime.
This Coaching Is For You If…
You’ve been curious about alternative sex and relationship practices but never found a safe, grounded, intelligent way to explore them.
You’re in a long-term relationship and want to reignite passion, polarity, and erotic energy.
You consider yourselves “vanilla” but feel drawn toward something deeper, darker, or more intentional.
You’re already exploring and want a stronger foundation beneath your practice.
You’re curious about Dominance and submission — not just sexually, but relationally.
You want to understand yourselves more deeply as sexual, emotional, and relational beings.
This Coaching Is Not For You If…
You’re looking for a quick fix for a collapsing relationship.
You believe your partner is the only problem and are unwilling to examine your own patterns.
You want techniques without embodied practice, emotional honesty, or self-reflection.
You approach these dynamics from contempt, superiority, or resentment toward the opposite sex.
You are in active psychological crisis or currently need clinical therapeutic care rather than intensive relational training.
Meet Your Coach
Hey, I’m Brandon the Dom.
I help men develop their Dominance, women deepen into their submission, and couples create deeper connection, hotter sex, and more fulfilling intimacy.
I wasn’t handed a blueprint for this work.
Like many people, I grew up with poor relationship models, little education around sexuality, and a deep curiosity about desires no one seemed willing to talk about openly.
I spent years trying to understand relationships, intimacy, power, and my own sexuality.
After a decade-long relationship and four-year marriage ended, I realized something important:
The standard model never fully fit me.
There were desires I had never learned how to explore. Parts of my personality I had never fully embodied.
A deeper form of leadership, sexuality, and relating I needed to understand for myself.
So I immersed myself in the BDSM world.
I trained, volunteered, and became deeply involved in the community — attending large-scale events, completing dungeon monitor training, leading a local munch, hosting play parties, and building relationships rooted in honesty, ethics, intimacy, and conscious power exchange.
Over the years, I've helped individuals and couples navigate everything from exploring their first D/s dynamic to refining long-established relationships. Together we've worked through challenges involving communication, leadership, trust, desire, conflict, power exchange, sexual confidence, and relationship structure.
And through my writing, teaching, coaching, and community leadership, I’ve helped guide others who are trying to navigate the same questions:
How do we create more polarity?
How do we build trust strong enough for surrender?
How do we lead, submit, communicate, and love in ways that actually deepen desire rather than slowly killing it?
If you're ready to stop endlessly researching and start creating the relationship you've been fantasizing about, I'd be honored to help guide you there.
The Lens I Coach From
I primarily coach Dominant men and submissive women.
This is the dynamic I know most deeply.
I understand the responsibility, pressure, and earned authority that leadership asks of men.
I understand the yearning many women carry—after managing so much of life—to deeply trust, soften, surrender, and let a respected man take the lead.
But I do not believe Dominance is inherently male or submission inherently female.
Men do not have to be Dominant. Women do not have to be submissive. You do not have to be a man or a woman at all. And no one needs to structure their relationship around Dominance and submission in the first place.
These are roles people choose—not roles I believe gender assigns to them.
The principles we work with—leadership, surrender, trust, communication, responsibility, consent, structure, and power—can apply across many different genders, orientations, and relationship configurations.
At the same time, I believe in being transparent about the lens I bring into the room.
My deepest personal and professional experience is with the Dominant man / submissive woman dynamic. That experience inevitably creates a bias in how I understand, teach, and coach D/s.
I don't pretend otherwise.
I am fully open to working with Dominant women, submissive men, non-binary people, queer relationships, switches, and other configurations of power exchange. You do not need to fit my primary dynamic to work with me.
But you should know the lens I'm looking through.
If that lens feels useful to you—even if your relationship looks different—then I'm happy to work with you.
Session Rates & Scheduling
Session length: 60 minutes
Rate: $197 per session
Format: Virtual Video Call
Consistency matters in this work. Most clients choose a regular time slot so we can maintain momentum and go deeper from one session to the next.
But life isn’t always predictable. If you need more flexibility, you can simply use my calendar to schedule sessions at times that work for you.
You can book one session at a time or purchase multiple sessions at once, depending on what works best for you. There’s no required package or long-term commitment—we continue working together for as long as the coaching is useful to you.
Here's How to Get Started
Schedule a Free 15-Minute Consultation
We’ll start with a complimentary consultation where you can tell me what’s been happening, what you want to change, and what you’re hoping to create.
I’ll ask a few questions, explain how I work, and make sure I’m the right person to help. You’ll also have the opportunity to ask me anything you need to decide whether coaching feels like a good fit.
Not sure yet?
15 minutes. No pressure. Let’s see if we’re a good fit.
Start With Your First Session
If you’re ready to get started, you can book your 60-minute Clarity Session ($197) right away. You do not need to schedule a consultation first.
This first session is designed to:
Identify what’s currently not working in your relationship or dynamic
Clarify what you actually want to experience
Get underneath the obstacles keeping you from creating it
Determine the most effective next steps for your situation
We’ll also establish clear expectations for our coaching relationship if you decide you’d like to continue working together.
Some clients leave with enough clarity and direction to move forward on their own. Others use the Clarity Session as the starting point for deeper, ongoing coaching.
Either way, you’ll leave knowing more clearly what’s getting in the way, what needs to change, and what to do next.
Ready to get started?
Build From There
From session to session, we’ll keep building on the work we’ve already done.
We’ll clarify what you want, address obstacles as they arise, develop the skills you need, and continually adjust our approach based on what’s actually happening in your relationship.
This isn’t generic relationship advice or a one-size-fits-all system.
It’s practical, individualized coaching for your relationship, your desires, and the dynamic you want to create—so you’re not left guessing how to get from where you are to where you want to be.
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes. All coaching sessions are held virtually, allowing you to have these conversations from the privacy and comfort of your own space. You can work with me regardless of where you live, as long as we can find a time that works for both of us.
Sessions are focused, intentional, and practical.
We’ll identify what isn’t working, clarify what you actually want, and determine what needs to change to move you forward. Depending on your goals, that might mean developing new communication skills, creating rules or agreements, working through challenges around leadership or surrender, or implementing practices between sessions.
When working with couples, we may sometimes meet together and other times individually when it would be useful to explore something more deeply one-on-one.
The goal isn’t just to talk about your relationship. It’s to help you change how you experience and participate in it.
Therapy and coaching serve different purposes and can complement each other.
Therapy may involve understanding your past, processing emotions, addressing mental health concerns, or healing from difficult experiences. Coaching is generally more focused on where you are now, where you want to go, and what you can actively do to get there.My work is particularly focused on the practical application of Dominance, submission, sexuality, communication, and relationship structure.
I’ve worked with clients who came to me after years of therapy and found that coaching offered a different kind of clarity—not because coaching replaces therapy, but because we were able to focus specifically on turning what they already understood about themselves into changes within their relationships and D/s dynamics.
There’s no required length of time or long-term commitment.
Some people come to coaching with a specific challenge they want to work through over a handful of sessions. Others want ongoing support as they develop their dynamic over several months or longer.
You can schedule sessions individually or purchase multiple sessions at once. We’ll continue working together for as long as the coaching is useful and you feel you’re making meaningful progress.
Yes. In fact, many of my clients come to me already thoughtful, self-aware, and experienced with personal development.
What’s often missing isn’t another insight about why you are the way you are. It’s knowing what to actually do with that awareness.
This work focuses on application and integration: turning what you know about yourself into better communication, clearer leadership, deeper surrender, stronger agreements, and a relationship structure that reflects what you actually want.
Yes. I work with people in monogamous, open, polyamorous, and other consensually non-monogamous relationship structures.
We can work on everything from establishing agreements and boundaries to navigating communication, jealousy, time, intimacy, power dynamics, and the practical realities of maintaining multiple relationships.
I’m not here to tell you which relationship structure you should have. We’ll focus on creating one that reflects your values, desires, and commitments.
Yes.
Dominance is not inherently male, and submission is not inherently female. The frameworks we work with around leadership, surrender, trust, communication, responsibility, consent, and power can apply across many different genders and relationship configurations.
However, I want to be transparent about the lens I bring to coaching. My deepest experience is with Dominant men and submissive women. That means there may be challenges specific to being a Dominant woman, submissive man, non-binary person, or another configuration that I have less firsthand experience with.
If you’re comfortable with that lens, I’m fully open to working with you.
Yes. You don’t need to already have a partner or established D/s dynamic to benefit from coaching.
We can work on understanding what kind of relationship and dynamic you actually want, developing confidence in your role, communicating your desires, navigating dating, identifying compatible partners, and preparing yourself to create a healthier dynamic when you find the right person.
You don’t have to wait until you’re in a relationship to become the person capable of creating the relationship you want.
You don’t need previous BDSM or D/s experience, and you don’t need to have everything figured out before we begin. In many cases, figuring out what you actually want is part of the work.
What matters most is your willingness to be honest, engage with the process, and put what we discuss into practice.
If you’re more experienced, we’ll simply start further down the road. Coaching is tailored to your current experience, challenges, and goals.
You can reschedule your session with at least 24 hours’ notice at no additional charge.
Sessions cancelled with less than 24 hours’ notice and missed appointments are charged in full because that time has been reserved specifically for you.
I understand that genuine emergencies happen. Exceptions may be made for serious illness, emergencies, bereavement, or other exceptional circumstances.
This policy protects the time I reserve for each client while still allowing reasonable flexibility when life gets in the way.
Start by scheduling a free 15-minute consultation.
You’ll tell me a little about what you’re experiencing and what you’d like to change. I’ll ask some questions, explain how I work, and we’ll determine whether coaching together makes sense.
There’s no obligation to continue. It’s simply an opportunity for us to talk and see if we’re a good fit.
Schedule Your Free Consultation →
