A Complete Guide to Dirty Talk for Doms

Want to learn how to dirty talk so that you drive your submissive wild? This guide will you show you easy to use frameworks for praise, observations, commands, fantasy, ownership, and degradation with dozens of examples of Dominant dirty talk you can use in the bedroom and never run out of naughty things to say.

For some guys, myself included in the beginning, the thought of talking dirty was nerve wracking. You have no idea what to say. You think you’re going to be too embarrassing or too crass. Then you open your mouth and you half heartedly spit out some line and watch her face contort. 

Just like any other skill in sex, dirty talk can be learned, practiced, and improved so that your submissive is giving you the horniest of bedroom eyes. 

Why Dominant dirty talk is powerful 

Enhances sexual arousal

The brain, and specifically your erotic mind, is a treasure trove of sexual arousal. If you can stimulate her mind as much or more than her body, she will enhance her arousal and subsequently her pleasure dramatically. For example, having you cum in her may feel good to her, but evoking the fantasy of breeding her using dirty talk as you do so could make her feel uncontrollable ecstasy if that’s one of her turn ons.

‍Dirty talk specifically engages her:

• Emotions: As I described in How to Be a Dom, she is seeking specific emotions and feelings when submitting to you. Dirty talk can trigger and enhance these feelings.
• Imagination: Using dirty talk you can tap into fantasies that are far more erotic than you are in reality. She’s got years worth of sexy material floating around in her brain, use it to your advantage.
• Subconscious: Societal programming can force her to repress behaviors she wishes she could act out. Dirty talk can reach into those repressed desires and actively pull them out, including ones she didn’t even think she was capable of.

Reinforces the Dom/sub dynamic

Below I’m going to walk you through several levels to dirty talk. The higher levels that include commanding, ownership, and degradation all further reinforce the power differential between the Dominant and submissive.

Your choice of words can also influence and train your submissive to be exactly how you want. For example, the more often you praise your submissive for how beautiful she looks with your cock in her mouth or her face covered in your cum, the more likely she will want to do those acts again in the future.

How to deliver Dominant dirty talk

As a Dom, the difference between making her cringe and making her wet when she hears you dirty talk comes down to your delivery. If you have a weak delivery where you seem uncomfortable or unconfident, your dirty talk may have the opposite effect you intended and repulse her. If you have a strong delivery where the dirty talk is coming easily and confidently from your core, she’s going to melt in your arms.

Weak delivery:

• Hesitant
• Shy or avoidant eye contact
• Nervous, erratic body language
• Speaking quickly and mumbling words
• High pitch and vocal tone
• Upward inflection at end of sentence as if its a question
• Speaking softly

Strong delivery:

• Directly spoken without hesitating
• Strong, steady eye contact
• Grounded, unflinching body language
• Slow down and annunciate
• Deep pitch and vocal tone
• Neutral or downward inflection at the end of sentence
• Speaking loudly (unless close and whispering dirty talk in her ear)

What I recommend is choosing a handful of phrases you’d like to start using and practice saying them out loud. You can do it in the mirror or menial as washing the dishes. You might think that is silly, but you want it to become normal and comfortable for you to say these phrases. Then when you're in the bedroom, it will just be another practice rep to say them. 

How to dirty talk as a Dom

Just as I did in the Quick Guide to Becoming a Sexually Dominant Man, I’m going to walk you through the lower Dominance dirty talk frameworks first. These will be the easiest for you to say and be confident in your delivery. As you become comfortable with dirty talk and start experiencing the benefits, then you can move into the higher levels of Dominant dirty talk.

I recommend having a conversation with your partner about words that may be triggering for them, both positive and negative. Some subs have specific honorifics that love over others, like being called little miss rather than babygirl. Likewise, being called a slut, whore, bitch, or cunt could have different connotations for different women, so be sure to check beforehand. I’d also ask how far into degradation they may want to go.

Universals

Let’s first start with the universals. In my experience, these tend to be enjoyed by a majority of women; however there are always exceptions. To each their own. I’d suggest learning these first and getting proficient at them.

Praise

Praise is basically telling them they are a good sub for doing what you want them to do. It’s the most basic way to reinforce their submissive behavior and let them know you’re enjoying what they’re doing for you. You’re also easing their insecurities they have around doing a good job and how they look.

Frameworks for Praise Dirty Talk:

• You are x
• You look x when y

Example Praise Dirty Talk:

• “You’re such a good girl for me.”
• “You look so beautiful with my cock in your mouth.”
• “You’re doing so good taking Daddy’s cock when he’s being rough with your little body.”

Observations

Observations are stating the obvious about what is occurring in the moment using your senses: sight, hearing, taste, feeling, smelling. You can either state what you observe about yourself, or what you observe about her.

Frameworks for Observation Dirty Talk:

• Your x looks/sounds/tastes/feels/smells like y
• How does x look/sound/taste/feel/smell
• You like they way x looks/sounds/tastes/feels/smells, i can tell by how y you are

Example Observation Dirty Talk:

• “Your little pussy is already so wet for me”
• “How does your pussy taste on my fingers?”
• “You love me pinning you down as I fuck you from behind don’t you? I can tell by the way your pussy grips my cock as I fuck you into the pillow.”

Low Dominance

Dirty talk at this stage is going to be your basics for being a Dom which is to command your submissive and evoke her fantasies.

Commands

Pretty straightforward, commands are telling her what to do or what to say. They aid to reinforce who is in control.

Frameworks for Commands Dirty Talk:

• Telling her what to do
• Repeat after me "I'm X", then tell her to repeat again louder
• Every time I do "X" I want you to say "Y"

Example Commands Dirty Talk:

• “On your knees, princess. Show me how much you missed me.”
• “Repeat after me, ‘I’m Daddy’s naughty little fuck toy’ Louder.”’
• “Every time I spank you I want you to say thank you and ask for another.”

Fantasy

Fantasy dirty talk is using erotic and taboo language to describe future situations, roleplays, or fantasies she has. Here you are really using her erotic imagination to enhance whatever sexual act is taking place in reality. You can make phrases short or elaborate with full detail.

Frameworks for Fantasy Dirty Talk:

• Imagine what x would feel like
• When x happens you're going to feel y

Example Fantasy Dirty Talk:

• “Imagine my cock pulsating a hot load in your tight little pussy and putting a baby inside you.”
• “Imagine walking around in public with my cum dripping out of your holes.”
• “Imagine how wet you are gonna be when you lick another girl's juices off my cock.”

Medium Dominance

Here you are starting to get more intense and taking more control. Focus at this level is to make her feel the power differential physically and psychologically.

Ownership

You control her body and what she does with it. Your dirty talk reinforces that you completely own her.

Frameworks for Ownership Dirty Talk:

• She has to ask for permission to do x
• She admits that she's yours and you own her

Example Ownership Dirty Talk:

• “Did I say you could suck my cock yet? What are you going to do to earn it?”
• “You’re going to be my good little slut, aren’t you?”
• While gripping your fingers in her pussy, “Who’s pussy does this belong to?” -> “You, Sir!” -> “That’s right, I do whatever I want with it, understand?” -> “Yes, Sir!”

High Dominance

As you reach higher levels of Dominance, you are pushing the envelope on taboos, exerting control, and will require more trust and connection with her. Unless they are her favorite things to be said, they will be done sparingly due to their intensity.

Degradation

Degrading dirty talk either describes her most raunchiest and taboo inner slut or further polarizes the power differential by describing her as less than you. Degradation can also use objectification and humiliation.

Frameworks for Degradation Dirty Talk:

• You are x
• Say, you are x

Example Degradation Dirty Talk:

• “You like being my little fuck toy, don’t you?
• “The only thing you’re good for in life is to be my little cum dumpster.”
• “Say, ‘I am beneath you, Sir’”

Extreme Dominance

On the extreme end of Dominance you are letting her know without a shadow of a doubt who is in charge. In dirty talk, you're using more degradation, humiliation, or objectification and more aftercare because of their effect on both of your psychologies. I would put degradation in front of others and public humiliation here.

Dominant Dirty Talk Cheat Sheet

Here’s a free dirty talk cheat sheet containing 74 dirty phrases for you to use with your submissive. Practice and use them to quickly and easily spice up your dynamic and sex life!