A Complete Guide to Dirty Talk for Subs

Want to up your dirty talk game as a submissive? This guide will you show you easy to use frameworks for praise, observations, requests, fantasy, begging, being owner, and self degradation, with dozens of examples of submissive dirty talk you can use in the bedroom and invite your Dom to take you.

Does your partner need a little encouragement to unleash his inner dominant in the bedroom? 

Want to invite him to be rougher, more forceful, more passionate, AND show him that you want to be dominated in the bedroom?

Then spice up your dirty talk and let him hear how much you want to be submissive for him. Don’t worry if you’re a little shy to talk dirty. Just like any other skill in sex, dirty talk can be learned, practiced, and improved so that your Dom completely ravishes you. 

Why submissive dirty talk is so seductive

Enhances sexual arousal

The brain, and specifically your erotic mind, is a treasure trove of sexual arousal. Your Dom has years of stored fantasies in his mind. If you can use your words and expression to tap into those, you’ll turn his desire up tenfold and he’ll want to completely ravish you. For example, cumming you may feel great to him, but evoking the fantasy of breeding you by begging him could make him orgasm harder than he ever has before.

Dirty talk specifically engages his:

• Emotions: As I’ve discussed many times before, in every sexual act we do, we are seeking specific feelings we wish to feel in that moment. Dirty talk can trigger and enhance these feelings.
• Imagination: Using dirty talk you can tap into fantasies that are far more erotic than you are in reality. 
• Subconscious: Societal programming can force him to repress behaviors he wishes he could act out. Dirty talk can reach into those repressed desires and actively pull them out, including ones he didn’t even think she was capable of.

It strokes his ego

Most Doms like when subs talk dirty because it often makes him feel desired and like he is doing a good job. We like verbal validation just as much as you do. Telling him how good he is making you feel and that he has an amazing cock will go a long way. If you're not already, try to relax and just let out expressive moans of pleasure as well. When he hears those, it makes him feel powerful and like he’s a sex god. 

Reinforces the Dom/sub dynamic

Below I’m going to walk you through several levels to dirty talk. As I described in How To Make Him More Dominant in the Bedroom, Dominance and submission are opposites and polarize each other. If you start acting more submissive, you can start coaxing more Dominance out of your man. So the more submissive your dirty talk is, the further it reinforces the power differential between the Dominant and submissive.

How to deliver submissive dirty talk

By no surprise, many of the ways that would be poor for a Dom to do when delivering dirty will be seductive for the submissive to do. You can see the key differences below. What will be core for the submissive is connecting to what you are feeling emotionally and physically, and trying to remove the filter on how you would express yourself normally. You want it to be a stream of consciousness without holding back. If something feels really fucking good, you want to express that without overthinking it. No matter the side of the slash, confidence and comfortability with speaking sexually will be a huge plus. 

Dirty talk delivery for a Dom:

• Directly spoken without hesitating
• Strong, steady eye contact
• Grounded, unflinching body language
• Slow down and annunciate
• Deep pitch and vocal tone
• Neutral or downward inflection at the end of sentence
• Speaking loudly (unless close and whispering dirty talk in her ear)

Dirty talk delivery for a sub:

• Comfortable expressing pleasure without holding back
• Soft bedroom eyes: relaxed facial muscles, dropped eyelids, dilated pupils, and an inviting smile
• Flowy, feminine body language
• Annunciation words and exaggerate expressions
• Medium pitch and sultry vocal tone
• Upward inflection at end of sentence as if its a question
• Speaking softly or expressing loudly without abandon

What I recommend is choosing a handful of phrases you’d like to start using and practice saying them out loud. When you practice, sense into your body and emotions to find anything pleasurable in that moment. You can do it in the mirror or during menial tasks such as washing the dishes. You might think that is silly, but you want it to become normal and comfortable for you to say these phrases. Then when you're in the bedroom, it will just be another practice rep to say them.

How to dirty talk as a sub

Just as I did in the Dirty Talk for Doms, I’m going to walk you through the lower submissive dirty talk frameworks first. These will be the easiest for you to say and get comfortable with expressing yourself. With practice you’ll be able to surrender fully to your pleasure and express that without holding yourself back. I’d also recommend having a conversation with your Dom about what honorifics they want to be called and any specific praises or phrases that make them feel the most powerful.

Universals

Let’s first start with the universals. Of course there are exceptions, but for the most part, most guys are going to love hearing these. 

Praise

Praise is basically giving validation to your Dom that they are doing a good job and bringing you pleasure. As a bonus, if you give praise around actions and behaviors you really enjoy, then he will be more likely to do them in the future.

Frameworks for Praise Dirty Talk:

• You are x
• You have x
• Good job, x feels good.
• I love it when x.

Example Praise Dirty Talk:

• “You’re so strong.”
• “You have such a powerful cock.”
• “God, your tongue feels so good when you lick me there.”
• “I love it when you pin me down so I can’t move”

Observations

Observations are stating the obvious about what is occurring in the moment using your senses: sight, hearing, taste, feeling, smelling. You can either state what you observe about yourself, or what you observe about him. As a submissive, it’s important to also observe and express emotions you’re feeling.

Frameworks for Observation Dirty Talk:

• You make me feel x
• I feel x when you y
• Your x looks/sounds/tastes/feels/smells like y
• How does x look/sound/taste/feel/smell

Example Observation Dirty Talk:

• “You make me feel safe when I’m in your arms”
• “Your cock feels so full when you’re inside me”
• “How does my ass look bent over in this skirt, Daddy?”

Low submissiveness

Dirty talk at this stage is going to be your basics for being a sub which is to request permission to act and evoking fantasies. 

Requests

Pretty straightforward, commands are suggesting or asking to do something. You are asking permission from your Dom and giving them control.

Frameworks for Request Dirty Talk:

• Asking what to do
• May I do x?
• Will you do x? I want to feel y.
• Do I have permission to x?

Example Request Dirty Talk:

• “Can you tie me to the bed? I want to feel overpowered by you.”
• “May I please suck your cock, Daddy?”
• “Do I have your permission to cum, Sir?”

Fantasy

Fantasy dirty talk is using erotic and taboo language to describe future situations, roleplays, or fantasies he has. Here you are really using his erotic imagination to enhance whatever sexual act is taking place in reality. You can make phrases short or elaborate with full detail.

Frameworks for Fantasy Dirty Talk:

• I love the thought of x
• I have been x. I need you to y.
• Imagine what x would feel like to do to me

Example Fantasy Dirty Talk:

• “I love the thought of kneeling before you and worshiping your cock.”
• “I’ve been a bad girl today. I need you to spank the naughty out of me.”
• “Imagine what it would feel like to rip off my panties, hold me down until I squirm, and fuck my little pussy into the bed.”

Medium submissiveness

Here your dirty talk is getting more exaggerated and expressive. You’re also evoking more power from you Dom physically and psychologically.

Begging

Begging is a more expressive form of requesting, showing how much power your Dom holds over you and how much you need the sexual act done to you. Your words should be exaggerated and elongated. For example, “please” is now “pleeeeeeeeease!”. Whimpering and moaning while begging will also increase its attractiveness.

Frameworks for Begging Dirty Talk:

• Please do x. I need to feel y.
• Please, please, please, do x. I will be y.
• I want you to do x to me right now.

Example Begging Dirty Talk:

• “Please put your hand around my throat. I need to feel you overpower me.”
• “Please, please, pleeeeease put your cock in me, Daddy! I promise I’ll be a good girl! Please, Daddy!”
• “God. I want you to fuck my tight little pussy right now. Please just fuck me!”

Being Owned

Here your dirty talk reinforces that your Dom owns you and you are here to serve him.

Frameworks for Ownership Dirty Talk:

• I want to be x for you
• You admit that you’re his and he owns you
• Saying some part of your body is his for his use

Example Ownership Dirty Talk:

• “I want to be your good little girl, Daddy”
• “I’m your slave. Use me as your personal fucktoy, Sir.”
• “You own my body. Use me however you please.”

High submissiveness

As you reach higher levels of submissiveness, you are pushing the envelope on taboos, surrendering control, and will require more trust in your Dom. 

Self Degradation

Degrading dirty talk either describes your most raunchiest and taboo inner slut or further polarizes the power differential by describing yourself as less than your Dom. Degradation can also use objectification and humiliation.

Frameworks for Degradation Dirty Talk:

• I’m just x. I’m only good for y. 
• You are better than me
• I’m less than you

Example Degradation Dirty Talk:

• “I’m just a little whore. I don’t need a name. I’m just a fucktoy for you to use for your own pleasure.”
• “You’re so much smarter than me, Daddy.”
• “I am beneath you, Sir. I kiss the ground you walk on.’”

Extreme submissiveness

On the extreme end of being submissive you are giving up complete control, often relinquishing the right to speak at all. You have given up full control for your Dom to do as they please, possibly including further degradation, humiliation, or objectification and more aftercare because of their effect on both of your psychologies. 

Submissive Dirty Talk Cheat Sheet

Here’s a free dirty talk cheat sheet containing over 74 dirty phrases for you to use with your Dominant. Guarantee that using these will make his eyes light up with desire and urge him to completely ravish you!